How do you say that?

How do you say that?

So I figured it would be good to say a few things in Vietnamese. This is cause for great merriment at the school, when I attempt to say things like "thank you", "excuse me", "hello", and such niceties. People look at me like I have just walked off a space ship, and then I smile and they laugh and sometimes they are kind enough to correct my pronunciation. 

Vietnamese is a) a tonal language and b) one with no ties to any Western language even if it was scripted by French monks. The exception is the alphabet, which looks encouragingly like my own, creating the impression that perhaps one could simply look at the letters and, using phonics, sound out words. 

It ain't like that. Each vowel has six tones, which are indicated by little symbols that adorn the letters to tell you how the word is pronounced and therefore what it means. 

A simple two-letter word "ma" can mean "ghost", "cheek", "but", "tomb", "horse", or "rice seedling", depending on the tone used. This is tough territory for a tone-deaf, hard of hearing old man. 

One person explained that vowel pronunciation is defined by tongue-in-front and tongue-in-back combined with lips flat or rounded. Then there is glottalization. So a word like khong (zero), for example, is glottalized "hum". The "O" is tongue back and you need that little rush of air the Germans are so fond of. 

I made up little flash cards with the numbers from one to ten. I grab someone now and then and have them quiz me. Sometimes I even get most of them right. Now I understand why Vietnamese spend years learning English. 

There's tons of aps and you-tube videos, so there is no lack of information available. Sometimes (like this morning) someone realizes that I really am making an effort, and they will try to help by teaching me a handful of words. I try to explain that it won't work. I can't soak them up that fast. 

Fortunately, I get sympathy points for trying. At first they were all worried that I would be mad when they did not understand, but now they know we are likely to burst out laughing together and they are more relaxed. I am becoming entertainment. Suits me.